So it’s finally come down to this! Punters have lost millions, William Hill and their bunch of betting shops have made billions but at the end of the day there is just one man standing and that’s the winner. Except it’s not a man, its Paul the octopus. Now, if there was one being in God’s kingdom that needed to be kept down well within the depths of the oceans an eight armed, bulbous headed sucker would be it. But, cometh the moment and up swims a cephalopod mollusk.
It’s a mixed morning when Lindsay Lohan is in prison and an octopus called Paul is embellishing the front pages ranging from the Times to the Mirror. Life as we know it is about to change. Pugs and Chihuahuas have been unseated as the favourite arm candy of the rich and the silicon enhanced, and the suction pads will explain any hickey that Paris Hilton may sport. And while this may be of no interest to soccer lovers it’s interesting to note that the female Octopus swims with a smile because her male dies within 6 months of mating. There is so much more Cheryl Cole needs to learn about the octopus and Ashley.
No single player, sung or unheralded, has quite made a mark on this World Cup - but Paul has stood up and been counted for Octopus’ worldwide. While I was no fan of Octopussy as the Bond girl I must say for myself that I found the depiction of the Octopus as the very depth of villainy politically incorrect. Surely if South Africa 2010 has a star it’s an eight pointed one. The true follower knows what the rest of us don’t. That the Octopus is probably the most intelligent invertebrate there is – a swift swimmer, a colour changing camouflage artiste and an ink spilling obscurer of its real position. It has three hearts and its young, not unlike human offspring, learn no behavior from their parents.
Paul had been wildly celebrated in Germany till a few nights back when it, once again correctly, chose Spain [well who wouldn’t appreciate a coral reef in warm waters compared to the freezing Bavarian Alps]. Spain has already offered Paul asylum and if my sources in the foreign office are to be believed David Cameron dangled a OBE for Paul if he only picked England over Germany last week. Well, some things will just never be. Steps are afoot to induct the Octopus into the Marine Corps especially on minesweeping duties and Harvard has reduced fees for the invertebrates – heaven knows that the investment banks could do with a few octopuses in the board room - a sharp mind to do the deal and eight hands to count the cash. And if all this were not enough Nike is going head to head with Puma to put the swoosh on an arm, or eight.
So come Sunday either Netherlands or Spain will hold the trophy but many leagues under the sea will smile a nation of real winners as they swim languidly past boorish stingray and rapacious sharks – you just can’t keep a good mind down.
It’s a mixed morning when Lindsay Lohan is in prison and an octopus called Paul is embellishing the front pages ranging from the Times to the Mirror. Life as we know it is about to change. Pugs and Chihuahuas have been unseated as the favourite arm candy of the rich and the silicon enhanced, and the suction pads will explain any hickey that Paris Hilton may sport. And while this may be of no interest to soccer lovers it’s interesting to note that the female Octopus swims with a smile because her male dies within 6 months of mating. There is so much more Cheryl Cole needs to learn about the octopus and Ashley.
No single player, sung or unheralded, has quite made a mark on this World Cup - but Paul has stood up and been counted for Octopus’ worldwide. While I was no fan of Octopussy as the Bond girl I must say for myself that I found the depiction of the Octopus as the very depth of villainy politically incorrect. Surely if South Africa 2010 has a star it’s an eight pointed one. The true follower knows what the rest of us don’t. That the Octopus is probably the most intelligent invertebrate there is – a swift swimmer, a colour changing camouflage artiste and an ink spilling obscurer of its real position. It has three hearts and its young, not unlike human offspring, learn no behavior from their parents.
Paul had been wildly celebrated in Germany till a few nights back when it, once again correctly, chose Spain [well who wouldn’t appreciate a coral reef in warm waters compared to the freezing Bavarian Alps]. Spain has already offered Paul asylum and if my sources in the foreign office are to be believed David Cameron dangled a OBE for Paul if he only picked England over Germany last week. Well, some things will just never be. Steps are afoot to induct the Octopus into the Marine Corps especially on minesweeping duties and Harvard has reduced fees for the invertebrates – heaven knows that the investment banks could do with a few octopuses in the board room - a sharp mind to do the deal and eight hands to count the cash. And if all this were not enough Nike is going head to head with Puma to put the swoosh on an arm, or eight.
So come Sunday either Netherlands or Spain will hold the trophy but many leagues under the sea will smile a nation of real winners as they swim languidly past boorish stingray and rapacious sharks – you just can’t keep a good mind down.
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