A story like this is very sensitive but in a democracy citizens have the right to understand the contours of their freedom. Often, viewing facts from a new perspective diffuses pent-up tensions.
Intelligence sources this weekend tracked “suspicious and coordinated” movements towards Mumbai and informed ministerial contacts bringing the Minister for Fashion into her office late past midnight. Senior ministry officials were called in for emergency confabulations from their cocktail soirees at Fashion Week. Immediately thereafter the Secretary for Fashion was recalled from an official trip to Malaysia where he had gone to present a white paper on “Making Asian Tigers colourful and sexier”. [He slipped away unnoticed as his audience had fallen asleep due to boredom].
On Friday night unnamed sources revealed that Katy Perry had signed a deal to visit India. While this was merely interesting, a leading Indian newspaper reported that Paris was upset regarding unconfirmed reports that she had misplaced her ‘fame’. Scouts positioned for just such an eventuality since streaking incidents were last reported in Bandra in the early 70’s informed that Paris was headed towards Mumbai, large hand bag and twisted knickers in tow. Adding controversy to coincidence, international wires reported that due to the recent end of her 72 day marriage to Humphries, Kim would fly into Mumbai enroute to Varanasi in her quest for lasting peace and tranquility. She intended to party for a few nights and experience the over rated Mumbai night life before seeking inner awakening and bliss in Benaras. This triggered an alarm within financial circles. The ministry feared that if Kim entered the country with all her assets it would controversially trigger retrospective tax treaties announced in the recent budget unnecessarily exciting telecom operators.
The Fashion officials were forced to bring the matter to the PM’s attention when Poonam dramatically announced on Twitter that this just wasn’t cricket and that she would strip if Katy, Kim and Paris entered Mumbai even as IPL 5 kicked off in Chennai. The Fashion police scrambled to help Poonam keep her clothes on, even as the government swung into damage control mode and denied any threat to fashion sensibilities. Officials immediately trashed the reports as alarmist and malicious though 2 fashion designers agreed that their designs, though revealing, were a meticulous reconstruction and sober interpretation of two piece swimwear used in the Kalinga period.
Katy Perry’s spokesperson confirmed that she would be in Chennai for the IPL opening but denied that she and fashion could never be spoken of in the same breath. On the request of the government, Kim also addressed a hurriedly called press meet and promised that she would not inflate her assets in any way and comply with local laws if she ever contemplated travel to India. These reports were merely a figment of journalistic imagination as she was currently deriving relief and succor by pursuing Bikram Yoga at an LA studio. Poonam also agreed to a programme of Confidence Building Measures (CBM) as her team replaced the elastic and zipper mechanisms on her entire wardrobe with a buttoned-down system.
Observers denied any concerns over the 'S' word mentioning that fashion in India would always remain simple, sometimes sophisticated but never seductive and sexy. The Fashion Minister met reporters today and announced that all fashion models, however thin, were patriots and held an exalted status in India. The tensions have melted away like Yana’s inner wear but a few disturbing questions remain – Are we ready for all to be revealed? How can the Minister for Fashion repair the perceived fissures in her relationship with General Fashionista and her Revealing Celebrity Brigade?
Intelligence sources this weekend tracked “suspicious and coordinated” movements towards Mumbai and informed ministerial contacts bringing the Minister for Fashion into her office late past midnight. Senior ministry officials were called in for emergency confabulations from their cocktail soirees at Fashion Week. Immediately thereafter the Secretary for Fashion was recalled from an official trip to Malaysia where he had gone to present a white paper on “Making Asian Tigers colourful and sexier”. [He slipped away unnoticed as his audience had fallen asleep due to boredom].
On Friday night unnamed sources revealed that Katy Perry had signed a deal to visit India. While this was merely interesting, a leading Indian newspaper reported that Paris was upset regarding unconfirmed reports that she had misplaced her ‘fame’. Scouts positioned for just such an eventuality since streaking incidents were last reported in Bandra in the early 70’s informed that Paris was headed towards Mumbai, large hand bag and twisted knickers in tow. Adding controversy to coincidence, international wires reported that due to the recent end of her 72 day marriage to Humphries, Kim would fly into Mumbai enroute to Varanasi in her quest for lasting peace and tranquility. She intended to party for a few nights and experience the over rated Mumbai night life before seeking inner awakening and bliss in Benaras. This triggered an alarm within financial circles. The ministry feared that if Kim entered the country with all her assets it would controversially trigger retrospective tax treaties announced in the recent budget unnecessarily exciting telecom operators.
The Fashion officials were forced to bring the matter to the PM’s attention when Poonam dramatically announced on Twitter that this just wasn’t cricket and that she would strip if Katy, Kim and Paris entered Mumbai even as IPL 5 kicked off in Chennai. The Fashion police scrambled to help Poonam keep her clothes on, even as the government swung into damage control mode and denied any threat to fashion sensibilities. Officials immediately trashed the reports as alarmist and malicious though 2 fashion designers agreed that their designs, though revealing, were a meticulous reconstruction and sober interpretation of two piece swimwear used in the Kalinga period.
Katy Perry’s spokesperson confirmed that she would be in Chennai for the IPL opening but denied that she and fashion could never be spoken of in the same breath. On the request of the government, Kim also addressed a hurriedly called press meet and promised that she would not inflate her assets in any way and comply with local laws if she ever contemplated travel to India. These reports were merely a figment of journalistic imagination as she was currently deriving relief and succor by pursuing Bikram Yoga at an LA studio. Poonam also agreed to a programme of Confidence Building Measures (CBM) as her team replaced the elastic and zipper mechanisms on her entire wardrobe with a buttoned-down system.
Observers denied any concerns over the 'S' word mentioning that fashion in India would always remain simple, sometimes sophisticated but never seductive and sexy. The Fashion Minister met reporters today and announced that all fashion models, however thin, were patriots and held an exalted status in India. The tensions have melted away like Yana’s inner wear but a few disturbing questions remain – Are we ready for all to be revealed? How can the Minister for Fashion repair the perceived fissures in her relationship with General Fashionista and her Revealing Celebrity Brigade?
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