It was January yesterday and we expected so much - suddenly we’re holding Christmas shopping lists, and the year has swung by like a monkey on crack. So much could have happened and the news could have been so much different – what a year 2012 would have been.
Mitt won the elections. Obama made a speech and the whole world wondered what a second term would have been like. The new President thanked Bain Capital for the deep insight into all matters economic, and the war chest that took him past New Hampshire, California, Florida, Obama and pretty much everything else. Undecided voters wondered remorsefully what could have been if only they had gotten out of bed that November morning.
Global warming was declared a hoax! A prank perpetrated in 1989 to keep oil prices in check, by the CIA and a maverick securities trader, that became too big to roll back. The oceans aren’t rising, the Polar ice cap is secure and bears are frolicking & procreating. We can emit gases at will; it actually helps Planet Earth and may even hydrate the Moon. National oil companies declared new finds in Bangladesh, India and Australia that would last till 3017 even if car companies manufactured only large SUV’s.
Rahul went public with his agenda for India 2020 and was hailed as a leader for the new decade. He wants Anna Hazare as minister of parliamentary affairs in 2014. India cheered! Kejriwal agreed that all was well with the Indian body politic and pledged never to speak with the media again – he eloped with a popular news anchor, lately in the news herself for some leaky PR exposures, and no one will ever mention the need for communication in a marriage ever again.
Murdoch retired from public life and Cameron apologized. It had all been a big mistake. Everyone was generally sorry, and BBC and News of the world both issued a joint statement coming clean on phone hacking, child molestation and all else that makes the world unsafe [but sells news].
The Lokpal bill was passed and Chidambram brought back $ 2 Tn of wealth stashed by Indians in the Cayman Islands, Switzerland, Mauritius and the Outer Hebrides. JK Rowling announced she would write exclusively for Calvin and Hobbes. China felicitated the Dalai Lama at the swearing in ceremony of the new leadership. Tibet became the 194th member of the United Nations. Arnab lost his voice and Manish sent him a get well card. Pandit stayed in at Citi and Rajat stayed out [he promised to devote more time to pro bono work with charities].
The Indian Olympic Association had a fair election. Manmohan spoke his mind and the GDP growth shifted to 9.5% per annum. What else, oh yes, prices fell and people smiled more than they had in 2011, and paid their taxes. India won every cricket match it played – Sachin retired and the nation wept. It was a sad end to a perfectly contrary year, damn!
Mitt won the elections. Obama made a speech and the whole world wondered what a second term would have been like. The new President thanked Bain Capital for the deep insight into all matters economic, and the war chest that took him past New Hampshire, California, Florida, Obama and pretty much everything else. Undecided voters wondered remorsefully what could have been if only they had gotten out of bed that November morning.
Global warming was declared a hoax! A prank perpetrated in 1989 to keep oil prices in check, by the CIA and a maverick securities trader, that became too big to roll back. The oceans aren’t rising, the Polar ice cap is secure and bears are frolicking & procreating. We can emit gases at will; it actually helps Planet Earth and may even hydrate the Moon. National oil companies declared new finds in Bangladesh, India and Australia that would last till 3017 even if car companies manufactured only large SUV’s.
Rahul went public with his agenda for India 2020 and was hailed as a leader for the new decade. He wants Anna Hazare as minister of parliamentary affairs in 2014. India cheered! Kejriwal agreed that all was well with the Indian body politic and pledged never to speak with the media again – he eloped with a popular news anchor, lately in the news herself for some leaky PR exposures, and no one will ever mention the need for communication in a marriage ever again.
Murdoch retired from public life and Cameron apologized. It had all been a big mistake. Everyone was generally sorry, and BBC and News of the world both issued a joint statement coming clean on phone hacking, child molestation and all else that makes the world unsafe [but sells news].
The Lokpal bill was passed and Chidambram brought back $ 2 Tn of wealth stashed by Indians in the Cayman Islands, Switzerland, Mauritius and the Outer Hebrides. JK Rowling announced she would write exclusively for Calvin and Hobbes. China felicitated the Dalai Lama at the swearing in ceremony of the new leadership. Tibet became the 194th member of the United Nations. Arnab lost his voice and Manish sent him a get well card. Pandit stayed in at Citi and Rajat stayed out [he promised to devote more time to pro bono work with charities].
The Indian Olympic Association had a fair election. Manmohan spoke his mind and the GDP growth shifted to 9.5% per annum. What else, oh yes, prices fell and people smiled more than they had in 2011, and paid their taxes. India won every cricket match it played – Sachin retired and the nation wept. It was a sad end to a perfectly contrary year, damn!
Amazing Stuff ! You should switch to writing books sir,,,really enjoy your blog every time. Cant wait for the next one !
ReplyDeleteHappy writing to you sir !