A Lighter Shade of White

So it’s official then, we like it tighter and whiter. The ‘tighter’ created a storm in the knickers about a year back when a magical balm promised to win back the husband’s affections, yet again, gently pushing mother-in-law politics behind the bedroom curtains. The feminist writers shifted Greer and Jonged-on about men in general and madmen in particular. It was good reading while it lasted. But coming back to ‘whiter’, we always knew that ‘fair’ in India is a monster that feeds on itself and gets ruddier by the moment.


We want our face white, and of course, our arms. And for that ultimate kinky peek-a-boo moment don’t forget fairer, wrinkle free arm-pits [which are by the way Mr. Bachchan’s fave hot spot as per an interview from 2 decades back]. Shahrukh wants us fairer and John Abraham concurs even as he hands us a shade card. And yes, we want whiter teeth, a shade grade a time. It’s all about getting the black out and the white in – and now I have a dream – what else does who want white?

The businessman wants his cash white, washed clean and smelling of roses with no trace where it came from. No sweat, no grime – just white money for the family, and the next acquisition.

We want our heroes white, our tourists white, and sometimes even our villains white – [Danny Boyle and Mission: Impossible went for Anil Kapoor as a reverse proof of phenomenon]!

The friendly neighbourhood, and national, politician wants his lies a whiter shade of grey. He would like to promise us water, roads, bridges and happiness as we credulously rattle along the potholed road to the ATM for our weekly withdrawal.

The officials want their cars white, preferable with red beacon on top and siren on the side. And don’t forget the White papers to dispel the fog of ignorance.

We want our khadi starched and white, our linen lightly crinkly but very white. And don’t forget the fairy tales – who would want to read Snow Tan and the seven footers to their kids at bedtime?

We could describe ourselves as dusky, wheatish, light, or coffee and cream but in the end it may all seem slightly unfair.